I have been watching Blackadder again for the last few days, and this is one of my favourite scenes from the fourth season 🙂

Blackadder
Now men, General Melchett will be here any moment. When he arrives, leave the talking to me, all right. I like to keep an informal trench, but today, you may only speak with my express permission. Is that clear?

They don’t reply

Is that clear?

Still no reply. Their eyes are bulging. Then at last Blackadder twigs.

Permission to speak

George and Baldrick
Yes, sir. All clear, sir.

From the trench a loud cry is heard: ‘Ten Shun!’ Melchett and Darling enter.

Darling
Dug-out – ten-shun!

Melchett
Excellent. At ease. Afternoon, Blackadder. Where would you like me to sit. I thought just a little trim of the moustache, nothing drastic.

Darling
No, sir – we’re here about the paintings.

Melchett
Oh, yes! Good Lord! George, how are you, my boy?

George remains silent.

I said, how are you?

Blackadder, not having been concentrating, suddenly realises that George isn’t speaking.

Blackadder
Oh yes – permission to speak.

George
Thank you. I’m absolutely top-hole, sir, with a ying and a yang and yippideedoo.

Melchett
Splendid – your Uncle Bertie sends his regards: I told him you could have a week off in April – don’t want you to miss the Boat Race, do we?

George looks questioningly at Blackadder – Blackadder suddenly clicks, and nods.

Blackadder
Permission to speak.

George
Certainly not, sir. Permission to sing boisterously, sir.

Blackadder
If you must.

George
(Sings) Row, row, row your punt!

Melchett and George
Gently down the stream,
Belts off, trousers down!
Isn’t life a scream!
Oi!

All this is done with a little accompanying dance ending on a pelvic thrusting movement. Darling applauds enthusiastically and Blackadder claps drily.

Blackadder
Fabulous. University education – you can’t beat it, can you?

Melchett
Bravo… What have we here? Name?!

Baldrick looks at Blackadder.

Blackadder
Permission to speak.

Baldrick
Baldrick, sir.

Melchett
Ha ha! Tally ho! Yippidee dap and zing zang spillett. Looking forward to the final chukker?

Baldrick says nothing. Blackadder wishes he’d never started this.

Blackadder
Permission to speak.

Baldrick still says nothing.

Answer the general, Baldrick.

Baldrick
I can’t answer him, sir, I don’t know what he’s talking about, sir.

Melchett decides to speak to him like an intelligent foreigner.

Melchett
Are-you-looking-forward-to-the-big-push?

He pinches his cheek indulgently.

Baldrick
(Answers the same way, and pinches the general’s cheek back) No-sir-I’m-absolutely-terrified.

Melchett
Mmmm! The healthy humour of the honest Tommy! And if you should falter my boy, always remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you.

Blackadder
About thirty-five miles behind you.